Jeremy Wilson’s Aurora Now Available

Today, Jeremy Wilson’s new album Aurora is out on all platforms. 

My piece As the Willow Tree Grows, is included among seven other beautiful works for trombone. You can read all about the piece on Jeremy’s blog. All are rendered in a way that only Jeremy can. 

As I listen to Jeremy's final rendering of the piece, which I have not heard until today, I’m flooded with gratitude. Here's the thing:  I never really thought I’d be a composer. Don’t get me wrong – I tried. I tried a lot. Almost all those attempts ended in failure. 

When I was a kid, I used to improvise for hours. I would hear all these crazy ideas in my head and try to write things down…each time ended in failure and frustration. I dreamed of writing for wind band. Orchestra. After failing so much, I resigned myself to never really being that kind of composer. Sure enough, every composer who I met seemed to be anointed by God with this “gift” for writing music. 

And they were all white guys. 

I didn’t really see a space for people who looked like me in the classical composition world. I’m glad that with the emergence of voices like Kevin Day, Reena Esmail, Nicky Sohn, Omar Thomas, Texu Kim, Gabriela Lena Frank, and many others, kids don’t have to grow up in the world that I did, seemingly devoid of people who looked like me (don’t get me wrong, there were people around…and they were writing music, but I never saw them). 

I remember something Omar Thomas said while he was in residence at the Schwob School of Music. One of my students had essentially vocalized every insecurity I had in being a composer. Every fear. Every sinking feeling of inadequacy. 

Every “Oh you just write jazz. Writing concert music is so different–you’re not a real composer.” 

Every time someone has told me “I’m a composition major, you don’t write music like that.” 

Every single time someone said “Oh, you write tonal music…tonality is so basic and boring.” 

All the “I have perfect pitch so composing is really natural for me. Most composers have perfect pitch.” Oh no, I don’t.

I would then ask peers how they wrote music like they did and they would describe this elaborate and esoteric process that their teachers had said and they seemed to make it purposefully confusing as if they were saying this just to keep plebes like me from replicating it (in hindsight, they may not have been, but it sure felt that way). 

I could go on for days, but I’ll get to the point.

Every time someone had said something like this and I believed (and internalized) every word they said. 

Fast forward back to that day at the Schwob School of Music.  As I felt my jaw clench waiting for Omar’s response, his eyes filled with empathy.

He said (paraphrased): 

“If you want to be a composer….be one. Write music. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t or define who you are. You create that reality for yourself”

Jeremy and I after the world premiere in Nashville.

A few months later, I met Jeremy and through the encouragement of my dear friend Greg Simon, I began sketching out As the Willow Tree Grows. 

That process was not easy..I don’t think we talk about how difficult composition can be emotionally and that we kind of just expect notes to show up on paper, but composition is so much more than that.

Even in my lowest points, I had encouragement from other composers…namely, Josh Trentadue and Kevin Day, both incredibly prolific composers — and they both gave me the encouragement I needed to keep going.

—- 

Today, as I think about the ramifications of having this piece of music, which is so dear to my heart, included on Jeremy’s album, I’m so proud. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have my music played by an artist and human being like Jeremy, who took such good care of the piece. 

Why am I telling this story? I want people who have ever felt this way to know that they’re not alone. We never write down or verbalize times when we feel like this. it’s time to take away the stigma. Don’t wait for permission to be who your heart desires. Be that person. It might be bumpy, but living into authenticity is a lot easier than constantly denying your heart who it longs to be in the name of being who you’re “supposed to be.” 

I’m aware that there are some who will still read this post and say I’m not a real composer or that I should have done this or that, etc. I don’t care. Those people will say what they’ll say.

Congratulations, Jeremy, on your album release. I am so grateful for you taking a chance on me. Thank you, Karen, for setting this in motion. Thank you, Greg and thank you, Omar; none of this would be possible without you both being exactly who I needed when I was younger.

Here’s a clip of the track if you’re interested in hearing it. If you like it, I urge you to head over to Jeremy’s website to buy it.